TalkBlog

  T oday I write because I have made a pact to turn in two pieces each week. Knowing me, I would say that's not at all sustainable. But today I would sit pretty and channel my violent tendencies onto my laptop. At least it would only highlight my mistakes in red instead of flat-out saying I'm saying nonsense. I write because, in this form, I don't hear the voice questioning everything I say or telling me what to do. I have imagined love; I have aspired to love (maybe marriage); or so I thought, as long as my memory could permit me. You know those 5-tier cakes with those stairways and the bride and groom? The messy order of photographs had the emcees going on and on about the list of people, the couple had to take photos with. And hell, it was chaotic, but it's me; I live for chaos. All I knew at 4 was the beautiful dress that the lovely aunties had to wear, and then the smoky, tasty jollof and beef waiting for me after. With the way we were training with the husband...

Everyday it’s a battle with self; Today the anxiety wraps around    me like a glove. There’s a swelling in my throat and a tightness in my chest, I keep telling myself to take a breather. But I feel like I’m under water, I’m submerged in the ocean of my thoughts. I’m fighting back the tears but some teardrops find their way through the barricades to my eyes.  The World is here to see a show,let’s give them one worth watching  🧶

  Maybe I’m supposed to figure out this whole maze called life alone? Or maybe I could just opt out (un-alive myself). Today I am furiously tapping on my keypads because the emotions I feel are anger, betrayal, disappointment, and pain, will you call me entitled for holding people by their very words? Am I the asshole for expecting some form of integrity? Well, I’ve been quiet here basically for a ton of reasons, the wall of cards I built and called my life scattered at the very gust of the whirlwind, some pieces went never to return again, and every time I try to write about it theirs the battle of emotions and waterworks. Maybe putting this out would do someone some good, I have no idea what it is supposed to do but here it goes. I came across this old photo on Snapchat and the caption was indeed true “No matter how horrible the worse feeling is, there’s going to be another one which is even worse and you don’t know about it yet” I was probably going through a rough patch whe...

These days I have so much to say but most times I just stay at the blinking cursor, is it writer’s block, I have no words to trap and put down; they’re flying free like birds outside the Sydney museum. It’s definitely not joy that I feel down in me, this is intense pain it's swelling up inside of me and I’ve not been drinking yeast.           A mad professor told me once “I think it’s funny that you expect people to treat you the way you treat them” (inserts Joker laughter) life isn’t a fairytale your fairy godmother won’t appear one day and “hipity bipity boop” away all your pains you would face it and you would face most of it alone.  I feel we are going through similar struggles and so we should try making things easier for each other. It's rather disgusting to see broken people break other people ; but this is becoming a norm. 2019? We go buy benzzzzzzzzzz! Lol, you didn’t tell me I would see shege, you didn’t tell me I would f...

Today boredom brought back some nostalgic feelings, yeah, and today I’ll be talking about my horrible dates I know they may not beat your stories but they sure left me with this gut feeling in my throat. I’m going to change the names of these characters so I can save them and hope they change when you probably meet them its Calabar by the way most men here are definitely recycled( that’s if you’re in the city; and drop that silly idea I barely go out., as matter of  fact I’m a couch potato who complains about being bored and most times makes no move whatsoever to save myself and I have bad luck with guys) I'd tag the guys as Specimen A, B, and so on( sorry if I seem sexist) but these were my white rats, but I wasn't inducing them with Asthma.(Apologies; it's 2019 all jokes are sensitive) So specimen A I didn’t plan to meet the human being but sometimes my love for food lands me in the weirdest situation "HND" says food would kill me someday and I no l...

Who needs Dopamine transmission? being with you does the trick- anon On Loving the stethoscope… When I took the plunge I had no idea what the water currents felt like, if there’s one major decision which put me at crossroads of should I or shouldn’t i. It was the decision to date HND. What I know for sure is that after the first month or so everything changes, you get to be around this person more often and you get really comfortable around this person. I was quite comfortable at the beginning anyway but I obviously had my reservations, I remember this evening he was walking me down to where I can board a car; it was dark (thanks to the children of the underworld who stole solar panels for the university street lights) well if you know me well you’d know seeing well in the dark is an extreme sport for me most times I would walk right into a puddle before I realize. Well, he had seen a gutter ahead and offered to hold my hands to cross over in my stubbornness I told him “no...

Time after time I always envisaged the day I’d find love in a coffee shop, so I had a lot of coffee and a caffeine addiction. So I sat in coffee shops reading novels while sipping on my hot creamy coffee hoping that one day “love” would bump into me spilling my coffee on my “Sefi Attah” and I would bend over to rescue my book drowning in the small puddle of creamy coffee, and maybe like those western movies he would be a perfect gentleman who would get to it before I do and apologise profusely and maybe offer to buy me another cup. Or perhaps I felt “Love”  would sit at the other end of the coffee shop taking quick glances at my book cover and ask out of curiosity why I choose to read Mario Puzo’s “ The Godfather” or Sun Tzu’s “ art of war” and probably tell me how he finds it intriguing that I make such book choices. After a long debate on God knows what I’d remember I have to get to a meeting and I could rush out leaving him with no contacts, but its “ Love” anyway. He wo...