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Tangled up in Love: A personal reflection

 
Have you ever crossed paths with someone and felt an inexplicable connection?
It's an experience often attributed to the Red String Theory, a captivating idea that proposes soulmates are connected by an invisible red cord. I recently came across the Red String Theory on tik tok, and I have been hyper-fixated on it. 


 The Red String theory is a Chinese legend that suggests that two people connected by the red thread are destined lovers, regardless of place, time, or circumstances. it tells us that this thread may stretch due to distance and tangle up due to circumstance; but in the end, the hands of fate eventually reunite these two people.

        As a self-professed hopeless romantic, I have heard a lot about the concept of soulmates, that there is someone out there who fits you perfectly, the ying to your yang. You would hear stories of Lovers who passed by each other for years before suddenly seeing past the covering cast, and we would read books of star-crossed lovers who go from friends to lovers and strangers to lovers and many other romance arcs. I think one striking story for me had to be about a couple who were in each other's vacation photos years back before they officially met, what are the odds?  These stories fuel our hope of finding that special someone

 I could give you a dozen stories, but I am certain you may have come across some of these stories as well. 


Now as much as I am a believer in love,  and also one who would consider myself a skeptic. Love is the cure and sometimes is the poison; capable of bringing immense joy and unbearable pain. 

I have so many questions, so many what-ifs that are left unanswered by the red string theory. What if time never draws our strings close enough? What if when the strings are tugged we have no energy to rise from the dust and put ourselves together because of how much we have been beaten down? What if we are too guarded and we do not let ourselves live in the moment? What if we cut off that finger that the string is attached to so we follow another? What if we mess things up because of how terrible we are? are the strings really unbreakable? Can we find the other too late? (Case: Lagos Men "I wish I met you before I met my wife" ), Are the strings truly unbreakable, or can we sever them with our choices? Can we find our way back to each other after many wrong turns? The uncertainty is equally exhilarating and terrifying.

        I used to be a firm believer that we had one person in the world, but now as I grow older I seek repose in knowing that, Some of us may eventually end up alone, and we may find bits of our completeness in the people we meet on this journey. I do not believe we find someone who makes us feel truly complete. I  would rather hold the belief that we would find love in those fleeting little moments, i can't promise it will last forever, but we would come in contact with it at least once. I keep hope that i will find love even if its in the unconventional sense of it.
 

Perhaps the Red String Theory isn't about a single, perfect partner. Maybe it represents the intricate tapestry of connections we weave throughout life. Love stories come in all forms: the unwavering loyalty of a best friend, the comforting embrace of family, or the electrifying spark of a brief yet unforgettable encounter. Each connection adds a vibrant thread to the rich tapestry of our lives

What if the true magic lies not in the destination, but in the journey itself? 

Do you believe in this theory?

Do you think you've gotten to the end of your Red string? 

Please share your thoughts in the comments!



Comments

  1. I believe that there are many threads that form the string, some are short and forgettable while others are longer and cherished, fashioned from love and consistency. All these threads have different weights attached to them, some fall off over time to be replaced by another and others snap only when one person dies. The circle of life is the string made up of different encounters (threads)

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  2. Nice read, love is really a fleeting thing and most times we can’t seem to make sense of it or the actions we carry out because of it, so I guess it’s best to feel love whenever and however we can.

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  3. This is exactly why I take solace in believing there isn't a single person made for you. Yeah you will find people who's interests significantly overlap with yours, some people might be easier for you to talk to than others, and a whole lot of other things that make you feel a "connection" but, for me, it's easy to chalk all that up to coincidence. There are 7 billion people on earth after all, of course you will find such people, loads of them even, but your attraction, however strong, doesn't necessarily mean they inherently have the ability to bring you that joy, happiness and comfort that people ascribe to love. Hence I don't believe love is something you find, I believe it's what comes after you've found someone you deem as worth committing to and vice-versa. Now how you find that person might be purely coincidental, some very unlikely scenario, but it can also be just plain simple and boring, or hell even a conscious decision. The point is, the finding, once you let go of your ideals of how it should be, isn't the difficult part, but what comes after, the endurance, the obligation, the sacrifice and the surrender. People assume these things should be easy if it's true love, but I believe love doesn't depend on how easy it is, but is the result of doing these things regardless of how easy or difficult it is. Age has made me go from believing love is magical to believing love is hardwork, but it's comforting because definitely I prefer believing I'm lazy over believing I'm doomed.

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