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Hey there, Popsicles! Today, I'm opening up about something weighing on my mind for a while now. it seems I can see it lurking in the shadows of my life like an uninvited guest at a party - the feeling of being an imposter in my own life.
You know that moment when you finally start to relax because everything seems to be going your way? Well, I barely get on that feeling for a solid 3 hours at a stretch; you know why? because there's no peace for me in this world. The moment I decide to curl up with a warm sock, a cold glass of yogurt, and my favorite book. that's exactly when life decides to throw me a curveball. And me? Well, I decided to just stay delusional, I mean Staying Delulu is the Solulu
I've never been that person who juggles life like a pro, matter of fact if there's an award for people who suck at multitasking I would soar through and beat records. (now I imagine myself smiling like Simone Biles holding up medals) well in reality I probably would still suck so bad I wouldn't even win at being bad. Career, family, friendships – you name it, I had it all wrong. And Trust Life did its very best at reminding me - that control is just an illusion.
In my delusion, I had somehow cosplayed a woman who sort of had it all together and it was working. So, there I was, feeling all safe and secure in my little bubble of confidence when it hit me - imposter syndrome. I mean, isn't that just a lovely gift?
In every step and in every room I keep hearing, "You don't belong here," I constantly get the feeling that all my achievements are just a fluke, and one day, everyone will find out I am a fraud.
Let's talk about body dysmorphia. You know, that thing where you look in the mirror and see something completely different from what others see? Yeah, that's been my buddy for a while. Because when you're an imposter in your own life, it's not just your accomplishments that gets a beating - it's your self-image too.
I looked in the Mirror and some days I couldn't recognize the person staring back at me, on other days found myself critiquing every inch of my being, magnifying every flaw until it consumed me. But guess what? That's exhausting, and I've grown tired, But I've also grown used to it.
An honorable mention would be Suicidal Thoughts. Because somedays I feel I would be better off dead, I wouldn't be missed sorely (I too get bad Character)
So, as I write this, I'm still trying to figure it out. I'm not offering a magical solution to banish imposter syndrome or body dysmorphia forever. What I am offering is my story, my tired but humorous take on life's little surprise packages. (I'll take this till i walk into a room filled with roses๐๐)
Because maybe, just maybe, by sharing our struggles and our laughter in the face of adversity, we can remind each other that we're not imposters in our own lives. We're flawed, fabulous, and thoroughly human, navigating this crazy journey together.
The pressure to keep everything under control can be exhausting, and it's easy to feel like you're failing. It's important to remember that it's okay to not have everything figured out.
Stay fabulous, my few readers. And remember, we're all in this together(alone).
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